The Top Ten ways I am becoming more German...

10. I now own a fake "coin" that I can use when I need to "buy" a grocery cart to use in the "supermarket." This way, I don't call attention to my lack of preparedness as I wobble about with a load of frozen cauliflower under one arm and a bag of apples, beetroot (a new culinary delight that I will sorely miss when I leave this place), and a six-pack of water in the other. I also always carry my own cloth grocery bag. It is green and yellow. And also, too small. It fits like, a grapefruit and a box of milk.

9. I drink my milk out of a box.

8. I take my vitamins in fizzy form. Pink Raspberry for my daily essentials, White Grapefruit for my Calcium, Orange-Pineapple for my Iron, and Cassis (whatever the hell that is) for my Magnesium. Yummy, and it knocks out 4 of those eight glasses of water you're supposed to drink every day.

7. I wait for the Red Ampelmann to turn into Green Ampelmann before crossing the street. Even if there is not a soul in sight.

6. I ate Thunfisch and corn on pizza. On purpose.

5. I find the bicycle to be far preferable than any other mode of transportation. Sometimes (like today) I just ride home and don't pay attention to the streets, just glancing at the giant Berlin City Maps posted at every bus stop. There's a big circle on every one to show the folk where they are, and I know as long as the big yellow circle gradually moves towards the center as I progress from stop to stop, I am headed in the right direction. (I work near the red circle; I live where the big black dot is.)

4. Be damned anyone who dares walk on my red brick bike path. I'd sooner run you over, dinging my bell merrily as you eat my dust.

3. I am always dusty. Berlin has a sand-based soil, thus, my shoes, bike tires, and consequently carpet, have a fine layer of grit at all times.

2. When I got home tonight, the only thing I wanted for dinner was a Beck's Beer. And some Spargel. They have this white asparagus here that they freak over when it is springtime. I laughed at them (the Germans) when I heard about the Spargel-Partys. But Spargel is freaking good. Even when I am the chef.

And...

1. I totally understand Celsius and the Metric System. Read: I do a really good job of faking it. Like last week when I told my students that my friend's new baby weighed 3900 kilograms. Apparently, I still need some work in this area. Whatever. Inches, gallons, and Fahrenheit ROCK!

My patriotism lies solely with the Americans' need to cling to an archaic system of measurement that has no logic whatsoever. Forget the Iraq War, Bush, and the U.S. Environmental Policy (or lack thereof).

You guys switch to Metric and I am done. I mean it.

Life just isn't the same slugging milk out of a box.