Köln Karneval Re-Kaplet

I don't have the time, energy, or desire to write up my entire Köln experience at this very moment. There are piles of laundry requiring my attention, a soft bed which is calling my name, and an alarm clock already set to go off in the morning so I can get my pudgy ass to the gym and begin my Lenten rejuvenation. (Nothing like using the Lord our God as an excuse to get in shape for my trip to Greece and Turkey in 6 short weeks.)

Here are some brief highlights to whet your appetite until I can fully scribe my past three days and post visuals to aid in your understanding of Karneval...also known as "Germans Gone Wild."

My days (and nights) included but were not limited to:

-sharing a glorified twin bed with...(get your mind out of the gutter, please)
-train mix-ups
-candy mongering
-Beck's beer
-a failed search for a pink feather boa
-eyeliner and rhinestones and an obnoxious aqua Britney hat
-snoring
-a 5€ white coat
-pirates
-Kölsch beer
-falafel
-men dressed as o.b. tampons
-men dressed as sperm repeatedly head-butting me in the street and saying I had good egg salad
-a German dance club
-my insisted singing of German songs in German at said club
-more pirates
-more candy mongering
-more Beck's beer
-the use of a pirate scarf in trade for my Britney hat
-more snoring, but this time awakening myself with the deafening noise
-and my complete butchering of the German language for six straight hours...no English, people. Total immersion...that is what I came here for. I must have been making some sort of sense, 'cause people kept talking to me.

Or maybe I just looked super-fine in my pirated pirate hat. But somehow, I doubt that. I didn't make the hat trade until almost 3am and I am fairly sure all my super-fine potential had rubbed off, right along with mass amounts of black eyeliner...

Stay tuned...